


*chaos has entered the chat*

by nightlilly



Category: RWBY
Genre: Bird Qrow Branwen, Crack, Crack Fic, Established Relationship, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Group chat, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Other, Polyamorous Raven Branwen/Summer Rose/Taiyang Xiao Long, Rated for swearing, Raven Branwen is not as much as a dick as she could have been, Secret Relationship, Summer Rose (RWBY) Lives, Swearing, Team STRQ Group Chat, Text Flirting, Texting, Volume 7 (RWBY)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:00:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightlilly/pseuds/nightlilly
Summary: Dumbass STRQ energy plus one Clover.A chat fic.
Relationships: Clover Ebi & Team STRQ, Qrow Branwen & Raven Branwen, Qrow Branwen & Summer Rose, Qrow Branwen & Taiyang Xiao Long, Qrow Branwen/Clover Ebi, Raven Branwen/Summer Rose/Taiyang Xiao Long
Comments: 7
Kudos: 49





	*chaos has entered the chat*

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during Volume 7. Pretend Amity went up without a hitch and everyone’s cool. Qrow and Clover are still in Atlas. Summer and Tai are chilling on Patch. Raven’s doing her thing and is still an ass but not as much as in canon.
> 
> Fair warning that this fic looks better if read on mobile.

**featherhead** ljfnljgrndksj

 **featherhead** sld;gksndlgkndl

 **taikwondo** qrow

 **taikwondo** you good?

**featherhead** owo whats this

**_featherhead_ ** _has added_ **_Clover Ebi_ ** _to the chat_

**featherhead** lajndj nalkfndl

**featherhead** HOW DO YOU UNADD SOMEONE

**taikwondo** you know what

**taikwondo** im not telling

**taikwondo** solely for the fact that you know someone that says owo because i know that's not you

**featherhead** well fine if youre gonna be like that

**_featherhead_ ** _has changed_ **_Clover Ebi_** _'_ _s name to_ **_lucky little shit_ **

**lucky little shit** rude

**featherhead** youre a grown man you shouldnt say owo and i know you do it to bug me

**lucky little shit** hey qrow

**lucky little shit** owo

**featherhead** fuck you

_**lucky little shit** ——> **featherhead**_

**lucky little shit** maybe later if you behave ;)

**featherhead** i hate you

**lucky little shit** <3

**quoth the bitch** how do i mute you

**featherhead** fuck if i know

**quoth the bitch** brother you cant just add people and not tell me how to mute them

**featherhead** i didnt add him he stole my phone

**lucky little shit** i just wanted to know who you were talking to

**feather head** dont give me that look you bastard i see you glaring

**lucky little shit** well since it looks like im staying here until qrow learns to kick me

**lucky little shit** im clover

**lucky little shit** and id like to state for the record that he did, in fact, kick me irl

**taikwondo** HA

**lucky little shit** using context clues im gonna say _quoth the bitch_ is raven and _taikwondo_ is taiyang

**quoth the bitch** awww you told your shitty friend about us

**quoth the bitch** i feel so special

**taikwondo** i wouldnt say shes shitty i like her

**lucky little shit** im a dude

**featherhead** hes a dude

**featherhead** ive literally been using "he" for all of five minutes

**taikwondo** sorry

**taikwondo** clover sounds like a girls name

**lucky little shit** dont worry about it!

**taikwondo** see hes polite

**quoth the bitch** gross

**featherhead** now that we're all acquainted

**featherhead** _lucky little shit_ go away

**lucky little shit** :(

**taikwondo:** aw youve made him sad

**featherhead** THE MISSION CLOVER

**featherhead** NOW IS NOT THE TIME

**lucky little shit** ;)

**taikwondo** wait are you guys texting us while in the field

**featherhead** correction

**featherhead** clover is both texting me in the field AND trying to 1up me

**featherhead** AND he tried to steal my phone while i was distracted fighting a saybre

**lucky little shit** correction - i DID steal your phone AND added myself to your chaos chat while you were distracted fighting that sabyre

**featherhead** CLOVER

**featherhead** THE MISSION

**featherhead** I AM NOT HAULING YOUR ASS TO THE INFIRMARY BECAUSE YOU TOOK A HIT TEXTING MY DUMBASSES

**taikwondo** "his dumbasses"

**taikwondo** as if summers not the one in charge

**lucky little shit** im fine

**lucky little shit** but you could be a good partner and HUMOUR ME when I ask you who youre texting

**quoth the bitch** wait

**quoth the bitch** YOU HAVE A PARTNER AND ITS NOT SUMMER???????

**featherhead** THATS YOUR CONCERN RIGHT NOW WE COULD DIE

**quoth the bitch** DIE THEN

**lucky little shit** i love you guys already

**taikwondo** no one tell summer

**tHorny** DONT TELL ME WHAT TAIYANG

**taikwondo** O-O

**taikwondo** nothing ma'am

**tHorny** i just scrolled up

**tHorny** _featherhead_ YOU HAVE A PARTNER AND IT ISNT MEEEEEEEE?????????

**featherhead** AGAIN. FIGHTING FOR MY LIFE HERE.

**taikwondo** mr clover sir

**taikwondo** i would like to know what voodoo shit you pulled to make that happen

**lucky little shit** we were both the odd men out and atlas has rules about not going out alone

**featherhead** translation - jimmy annoyed the shit out of me for days and i agreed to shut him up

**lucky little shit** i think im growing on him!

**featherhead** :/

**lucky little shit** ;)

**_lucky little shit_ ** _—— > _ **_featherhead_ **

**lucky little shit** you look so cute when youre angry sweetie

**featherhead** IM MAD AT YOU DONT THINK FLATTERY IS GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THIS

**lucky little shit** sure

**lucky little shit** and your ears arent turning pink from how much youre blushing

**tHorny** he gets a free pass because its circumstancial

**tHorny** BUT IF YOU THINK YOU CAN REPLACE ME BUSTER YOUVE GOT ANOTHER THING COMING

**featherhead** WE HAVENT GONE ON ANY MAJOR MISSIONS TOGETHER IN YEARS

**tHorny** IM STILL YOUR PARTNER BITCH

**featherhead** youre always number one in my heart summer

**featherhead** clover stop pouting i see you

**lucky little shit** i understand but i thought i was your favourite

**featherhead** i didnt say you were my favourite i said you were my idiot

**featherhead** WHO IS STILL TEXTING IN BATTLE GODS CLOVER YOU BOOTLICKING FUCK

**lucky little shit** youre also texting

**lucky little shit** and rude

**_featherhead_ ** _has gone offline_

**lucky little shit** that's what I thought

**quoth the bitch** to be a part of this group, you have to either be an idiot or acquire an idiot

**quoth the bitch** qrow's just been promoted from summer's idiot

**tHorny** (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)ﾟ

**lucky little shit** dont worry summer ill keep him safe for you ;)

**tHorny** you are on thin fucking ice

**tHorny** but now I need a new idiot

**quoth the bitch** me and you can share tai

**taikwondo** i would argue

**taikwondo** but tis true

**taikwondo** i am idiot

* * *

**featherhead** IM OUT HERE LIVING MY BEST LIFE

**taikwondo** qrow??? happy??? *gasp*

**lucky little shit** SHUT UP

**featherhead** "oh look at me im clover captain of the ace ops i can do cool flips off a cliff without executing a landing strategy but will WALK FACE FIRST INTO A POLE"

**featherhead** IM DYING

**tHorny** QROW DONT DIE

**tHorny** I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK SHIT WITH

**lucky little shit** IM FINE THANKS FOR ASKING

**taikwondo** did you

**taikwondo** did you really walk into a pole

**featherhead** IM WHEEZING

**lucky little shit** he is and i did

**quoth the bitch** qrow strikes again

**featherhead** THE BEST PART IS THAT IT WASNT ME THIS TIME

**featherhead** IT WAS HIS OWN FAULT

**featherhead** YOURE A GROWN ASS MAN LOOK WHERE YOURE WALKING

**lucky little shit** i hope no one else saw that

**featherhead** bold of you to assume i didnt record it and am not sending it to your entire team and the kiddos

**featherhead** kvjxnfdcjnv

**taikwondo** rip qrow

**quoth the bitch** he'll be fine

**tHorny** arent atlas' ace ops like elite or something

**featherhead** not really i just kicked his ass

**lucky little shit** im potentially concussed and he is sitting on me

**lucky little shit** qrow move we're in public and im literally eating cement

**featherhead** [image sent]

**tHorny** qrow get off of him he might have a concussion from that pole

**featherhead** if he were concussed i wouldnt be sitting on him hes just saying that so you feel bad

**featherhead** and dont you hate him

**tHorny** i was upset

**tHorny** but i recognize that i cant be in atlas to have your back and i cant be with you all the time

**tHorny** so take care of him clover

**tHorny** because hes your partner on paper but i saw him first

**tHorny** and if something happens to him i will be forced to get your ass

**lucky little shit** noted

**lucky little shit** you two make an oddly cute couple

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky little shit_ **

**featherhead** that's a weird thing to say considering youre my partner

**lucky little shit** I just meant you two are close friends

**featherhead** and you couldnt have worded differently??? -_-

**featherhead** HA

**featherhead** no

**featherhead** we're just bros

**featherhead** and like summer is married to my sister

**lucky little shit** i thought tai was married to your sister

**featherhead** theyre poly

**taikwondo** we all married each other

**taikwondo** except qrow hes just vibin

**taikwondo** speaking of mr ace ops sir you look quite handsome from what i can see of you eating cement

**featherhead** tai no

**lucky little shit** im flattered but ill have to turn you down

**lucky little shit** but i will humour you to bother qrow ;)

**lucky little shit** <3

**taikwondo** <3

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky little shit_ **

**featherhead** YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

**featherhead** just for that im sitting on you longer

**quoth the bitch** have fun with that bony ass

**lucky little shit** qrow please people are staring

**taikwondo** why are you guys texting if youre sitting on each other

**lucky little shit** as you can see from qrow's stupid picture

**lucky little shit** hes sitting on my back and my face is mostly pressed into sidewalk

**lucky little shit** so i cant talk

**lucky little shit** oh gods

**lucky little shit** QROW GET OFF OF ME BEFORE MY BOSS SEES

**featherhead** hmmmm

**featherhead** nah

**featherhead** i wanna see how this goes

**lucky little shit** QROW GET OFF ME

**lucky little shit** QROW IF WINTER SEES US LIKE THIS WE ARE BOTH GETTING PATROL ON THE WALL IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT ILL MAKE SURE OF IT

**_lucky little shit_ ** _—— >_ **_featherhead_ **

**lucky little shit** NO CUDDLING FOR A WEEK UNLESS YOU GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW

**featherhead** YOU WOULDNT DARE

**featherhead** fine

**featherhead** but only because its cold as fuck at night

**lucky little shit** that's your problem with night patrol??????

**featherhead** NOT ALL OF US CAN WEAR TANK TOPS IN BLIZZARDS CLOVER

**taikwondo** you wear tank tops???

**quoth the bitch** in the winter???

**tHorny** in atlas???

**lucky little shit** IM USED TO IT

**taikwondo** wait is qrow still sitting on you

**lucky little shit** no we're sitting on the sidewalk but my boss came by us and is now lecturing qrow about "corrupting captain ebi" and "pulling him down to your level of stupidity"

**featherhead** not the first time the ice queen has lectured me and it will not be the last

**quoth the bitch** promise?

**featherhead** it's a threat

**lucky little shit** winters nice once you get to know her

**lucky little shit** bit standoffish but somewhat nice

**taikwondo** so you could say winters a little

**featherhead** dont

**taikwondo** cold

**lucky little shit** *high five*

**taikwondo** *high fives back*

**featherhead** great youve enabled him

* * *

**featherhead** Clover stop showing off I swear to the gods I will yeet you off the tallest spire in the city

**lucky little shit** but it's fun to watch the first years panic

**featherhead** you're a bit too chaotic

**featherhead** ive created a monster

**lucky little shit** you wish

**lucky little shit** pranking the students is the ace ops yearly tradition

**featherhead** youre scary like this

**tHorny** i smell chaos

**tHorny** whats happening

**featherhead** boy scout here is traumatizing teenagers

**featherhead** didnt think he had it in him

**tHorny** well

**tHorny** to be fair its probably not anything worse than beacon

**featherhead** oh gods beacon

**lucky little shit** ??????

**featherhead** oz's way of picking teams was interesting to say the least

**lucky little shit** *louder ??????*

**tHorny** picture this

**tHorny** youre sixteen years old

**tHorny** you don't have much training

**tHorny** you have a weapon and minimal knowledge on how to use it

**tHorny** and you don't know anyone

**tHorny** now imagine that this white-haired twink drinking a fucking hot chocolate tells you that your first test is that you have to fight through a forest full of grimm, find a "relic" which is actually a stupid chess piece and then make your way back - after executing a landing strategy after being launched from a cliff and told the first person you make eye contact with is your partner for life

**featherhead** WHITE HAIRED TWINK I CANT BREATHE

**featherhead** RIP OZ

**lucky little shit** _tHorny_ so you and qrow made eye contact? and that's how you were partnered

**tHorny** yup

**featherhead** i tried switching because i didn't know her and wanted to be raven's partner

**featherhead** but oz said no

**quoth the bitch** get fucked

**featherhead** wow look at that ravens here just to insult me

**lucky little shit** _featherhead_ i wouldve had so many puns if id gone to beacon and we got paired together

**featherhead** we wouldnt have been in the same year dumbass

**tHorny** clover how old are you

**lucky little shit** 32

**tHorny** oh my gods

**tHorny** you're baby! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

**lucky little shit** how????

**featherhead** summer thinks everyone younger than her is "baby"

**tHorny** because they are

**tHorny** babies

**tHorny** fetuses

**tHorny** toddlers

**featherhead** it's the mom instinct

**featherhead** and clover youre officially the buffest toddler ive ever met

**lucky little shit** shut up ive seen you eat pancakes youve dropped on the floor

**featherhead** YOU INVITED YOURSELF INTO MY GROUP CHAT

**featherhead** YOU DO NOT GET TO DRAG ME

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky little shit_ **

**featherhead** friendly reminder that this is what you fell in love with

**lucky little shit** and i love you very much but did you really have to eat them???? the mess wouldve given you another helping

**featherhead** dont waste food

**quoth the bitch** five second rule?

**taikwondo** five second rule?

**tHorny** five second rule?

**featherhead** duh

**lucky little shit** that's a bit creepy

**featherhead** we share a brain cell

**lucky little shit** and ive yet to see when its your turn hun

**taikwondo** OOOOOHHHHH SHIIIIIITTTTTT

**quoth the bitch** do you need some ice for that burn?

**featherhead** dont "hun" me

**lucky little shit** of course sweetheart

**lucky little shit** darling

**featherhead** dumbass

**lucky little shit** my love

**_featherhead_ ** _—— > _ **_lucky little shit_ **

**featherhead** LUCKY CHARM THIS ISNT GOOD FOR MY HEART

**lucky little shit** but I love you pretty bird <3

**featherhead** CLOVER

**lucky little shit** ;)

**featherhead** be warned im both angry and i want to kiss you right now

**featherhead** ill tell ruby you were the one who ate her cookies

**tHorny** ooooo bringing out the big guns

**lucky little shit** you wouldnt dare!!!!

**lucky little shit** also we all know it was nora

**featherhead** she doesn't know that

**featherhead** and it would be my word against yours

**featherhead** and which one of us is her favourite uncle

**featherhead** not you shithead

**lucky little shit** ......

**lucky little shit** dearest

**lucky little shit** now if you'll excuse me I'll be running for my life

**taikwondo** noooo qrow don't kill my bae

**quoth the bitch** rip

* * *

**taikwondo** hey bae

**lucky little shit** <3

**featherhead** you're still doing this? -_-

**taikwondo** why not?

**tHorny** hes just having fun

**quoth the bitch** I really don't care

**taikwondo** so what you up to bae?

**lucky little shit** qrow and I are playing cards while we're stuck on a five-hour supply run and to no one's surprise I am winning, as usual

**featherhead** YOU BASTARD I JUST NEEDED ONE MORE TURN

**lucky little shit** I need you guys to know he's making a pouty face and it is the least threatening thing I've ever seen

**lucky little shit** and ive seen Oscar make puppy eyes and that shits adorable

**lucky little shit** he's literally pouting

**lucky little shit** he's an old man and he's pouting

**featherhead** IM NOT THAT MUCH OLDER THAN YOU

**quoth the bitch** angry old man

**featherhead** YOURE OLDER THAN ME

**quoth the bitch** BY THIRTEEN MINUTES

**featherhead** AND IM TALLER SO THERE

**quoth the bitch** DONT MAKE ME COME SLAP YOU

**featherhead** TRY ME BITCH

**lucky little shit** SHE FUCKING DID IT

**lucky little shit** SHE FUCKING SLAPPED HIM OH MY GODS

**featherhead** THATS NOT WHAT YOUR SEMBLANCE IS FOR

* * *

**taikwondo** bae <3

**lucky little shit** <3

**taikwondo** what you doing?

**lucky little shit** finishing up themorning meeting and then patrol

**featherhead** speaking of boy scout did you get the info from the meeting i wasn't paying attention

**lucky little shit** ....

**lucky little shit** i was leading the meeting qrow

**quoth the bitch** get fucked

**featherhead** well did you get everything

**featherhead** I was distracted

**lucky little shit** by what

**featherhead** if I completely bullshit something nice right now and say like "your face" or something could I get a free pass

**lucky little shit** idk try it

**featherhead** thats sounds like a no

**lucky little shit** youd be correct

**featherhead** but you have such pretty eyes!

**featherhead** still no?

**lucky little shit** still no

**featherhead** peanuts

**lucky little shit** wha

**tHorny** HA

**quoth the bitch** what the hell is wrong with you

**featherhead** I was hungry and I wanted peanuts

**quoth the bitch** im never like this why are you like this

**quoth the bitch** why are you bird

**featherhead** clover was so done with this convo he walked away

**featherhead** like he read the text, looked at me, and then just turned around and left me here

**featherhead** AND I STILL DONT KNOW THE PLAN IS FOR THE DAY

**featherhead** I ASKED YANG AND SHE LAUGHED AND ME AND TOLD ME TO ASK CLOVER WHO JUST LEFT WHAT DO I DO

**featherhead** oh shit he's coming back I think I'm in trouble

**lucky little shit** OH MY GODS IM SORRY

**taikwondo** what happened bae

**lucky little shit** I MEANT TO TOSS SOMETHING TO QROW AND IT HIT HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE

**quoth the bitch** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**quoth the bitch** qrow strikes again

**quoth the bitch** get wrecked dumbass

**featherhead** I ain't even mad cause I GOT PEANUTS

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky little shit_ **

**featherhead** but my face hurts

**featherhead** you might have to kiss it better ;)

**featherhead** CLOVERS MY FAVOURITE NOW EVERYONE ELSE GO HOME

**quoth the bitch** fucking bird brain thinking with his stomach

**featherhead** youre just mad cause I got peanuts and you dont

**tHorny** is he really your favourite?

**featherhead** NO SUMMER YOURE MY FAVOURITE FOREVER

**tHorny** (¤﹏¤)

**lucky little shit** cant even be mad at that face

* * *

**lucky little shit** YALL I JUST HAD A REVELATION AND IM SO MAD

**taikwondo** yall

**featherhead** cloves it thee ham go slep

**quoth the bitch** thee ham

**tHorny** go slep

**featherhead** *clover

**taikwondo** that's what you decided to correct out of that sentence?????

**lucky little shit** NO IM CLOVES NOW

**lucky little shit** SO QROWS SEMBLANCE IS BAD LUCK RIGHT

**featherhead** ye

**lucky little shit** SO HES BASICALLY FIGHTING WITH A DISADVANTAGE

**lucky little shit** BECAUSE HE CANT CONTROL IT SO HE DOESNT KNOW WHATS GONNA HAPPEN OR WHEN

**lucky little shit** AND EVEN THOUGH HE HAS TO DEAL WITH THAT HE USES A SCYTHE WHICH IS INCREDIBLY HARD TO LEARN HOW TO USE AND HAS BASICALLY GONE SOLO FOR TWENTY YEARS

**lucky little shit** AND YET

**lucky little shit** THIS ASSHOLE STRIDES UP TO ME AFTER WHOOPING MY ASS IN TRAINING AND I TELL HIM GOOD JOB

**lucky little shit** guess what he says

**lucky little shit** "it's not that impressive"

**featherhead** ???

**lucky little shit** TWO THINGS WRONG WITH THAT QROW

**lucky little shit** ONE

**lucky little shit** THAT WAS FUCKING IMPRESSIVE

**lucky little shit** THAT WAS GOD TIER SHIT

**lucky little shit** I HONESTLY BELIEVE YOURE THE BEST HUNTSMAN IVE EVER SEEN

**lucky little shit** TWO

**lucky little shit** TAKE THE FUCKING COMPLIMENT IVE TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE ASSHOLE

**lucky little shit** LOVE YOURSELF YOU DEPRESSED BASTARD

**lucky little shit** GODS

**lucky little shit** YOU MAKE ME SO ANGRY

**lucky little shit** IM TAKING A NAP ON THE SUPPLY RUN TOMORROW

**lucky little shit** GOODNIGHT FUCKERS

**_lucky little shit_ ** _is offline_

**taikwondo** what the fuck was that

**featherhead** he drik the xcofffeeeeee

**tHorny** go to sleep qrow it's late in atlas

**featherhead** yes mom

* * *

**_lucky little shit_ ** _has muted the chat_

**featherhead** as promised cloves is out

**featherhead** fell asleep the second he sat down so I muted his phone

**taikwondo** okay so what the fuck was that yesterday????

**tHorny** is he alright?

**featherhead** yeah he just wore himself out

**featherhead** so you know how alcohol used to dull my semblance?

**featherhead** coffee makes clover's go haywire and he knows this

**featherhead** but he had to pull an all-nighter doing paper work so he drank some

**featherhead** and it worked a little too well

**featherhead** so he was fucked up for the rest of the night because he gets so worked up from both the caffeine and his semblance working in high gear

**featherhead** but when he gets worked up he gets weirdly inspirational and likes telling people to do their best????

**featherhead** he does that on the daily but on caffeine its just really aggressive pep talks

**tHorny** send him our best

**tHorny** good to see that someone's looking out for you qrow

**featherhead** it's nothing

**quoth the bitch** "used to"?

**featherhead** ????

**quoth the bitch** you said alcohol "used to" dull your semblance

**quoth the bitch** are you alright?

**featherhead** ????

**featherhead** oh!

**featherhead** yeah everything's good

**featherhead** I guess I forgot to tell you

**featherhead** im nearly eight months sober

**taikwondo** WHAT

**tHorny** QROOOOWWWWW｡･ﾟﾟ･(>д<)･ﾟﾟ･｡

**tHorny** CONGRATULATIONS

**tHorny** QROW THATS AMAZING

**featherhead** its nothing

**featherhead** really not a big deal

**featherhead** i shouldve done it sooner and i know i havent been the best person to be around

**featherhead** im sorry

**featherhead** both for taking so long and for the fact that it took a very rude wake up call and the kids in danger to realize that i wasnt doing anything to help them

**featherhead** im the adult here

**featherhead** im supposed to protect them

**featherhead** and im sorry i never could

**tHorny** qrow

**tHorny** this means a lot to all of us, especially with how far youve come

**tHorny** and we know youve always tried to do the right thing even under the worst circumstances

**tHorny** we know you never mean to hurt anyone

**tHorny** and we're so proud of you, with what youre doing

**tHorny** becoming sober is never an easy thing to do and its even harder to keep up with for so long

**tHorny** so please listen to us when we tell you that youre doing great

**quoth the bitch** listen to that idiot of yours when he tells you to take the compliment

**quoth the bitch** youre such a downer for something thats meant to be happy

**taikwondo** she means shes happy for you

**taikwondo** we all are

**featherhead** you guys are the best

**featherhead** thank you

* * *

**_lucky little shit_ ** _has unmuted the chat_

**taikwondo** bae's awake!

**lucky little shit** <3

**taikwondo** how was your nap

**lucky little shit** good i guess for having to sleep in a very bouncy truck

**taikwondo** qrow told us about your weird coffee thing

**taikwondo** and I realized we know almost nothing about you despite all this time youve spent in our group chat

**tHorny** as qrows friends we'd all like to know you better

**quoth the bitch** I don't

**tHorny** as qrows friends me and tai would like to know you better

**taikwondo** yeah I don't even know what you look like bae

**lucky little shit** ive sent a picture

**featherhead** the one of you eating cement?

**lucky little shit** fair point

**lucky little shit** [image sent]

**taikwondo** HOLY

**taikwondo** ARE YOU SURE YOURE NOT OPEN TO NEW POSSIBILITIES

**lucky little shit** again im flattered but no thank you

**lucky little shit** but ill still be your bae <3

**featherhead** both of you are terrible

**taikwondo** QROW YOU DONT GET TO SAY ANYTHING WHEN YOURE WITH THAT THE WHOLE TIME

**taikwondo** I CANT BELIEVE IM SAYING THIS BUT YOURE LUCKY

**lucky little shit** HA

**featherhead** you have two partners to give you attention

**tHorny** he knows hes just having fun with this

**tHorny** we're cuddling right now

**tHorny** and he's laughing his ass off

**lucky little shit** alright what else do you want to know

**tHorny** weapon????

**featherhead** like mother like daughter

**lucky little shit** Kingfisher

**tHorny** which is????

**lucky little shit** fishing rod

**quoth the bitch** I'm sorry I know I make a point not to talk to you people but

**quoth the bitch** what the fuck

**taikwondo** _featherhead_ you let your mission partner walk around with a fishing pole????

**featherhead** as long as it kills grimm I don't care

**featherhead** hes not the captain of the atlas elite for no reason

**lucky little shit** for the record he made fun of it for weeks and still does!

**taikwondo** what about your semblance

**lucky little shit** good fortune

**taikwondo** you're shitting me

**taikwondo** how the hell does qrow put up with you

**featherhead** with a lot of patience

**lucky little shit** says you

**lucky little shit** you're always grumpy

**lucky little shit** i like seeing you smile you know

**featherhead** zip it lucky charm

**_lucky little shit_ ** _changed their name to_ **_lucky charm_ **

**lucky charm** :P

**lucky charm** I like this name better

**featherhead** I mean I call you it anyway

**taikwondo** you literally haven't????

**featherhead** outloud dumbass

**taikwondo** awww you guys have nicknames for each other thats so cute!!!

**lucky charm** qrow has nicknames for me

**lucky charm** i cant think of ones that work

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky charm_ **

**featherhead** you call me pretty bird a lot

**lucky charm** yeah but thats a bit too romantic for the group chat

**featherhead** true

**lucky charm** and apparently youve all monopolized all the bird ones

**taikwondo** well i mean

**taikwondo** hes a bird

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_taikwondo_ **

**featherhead** i havent told him that yet

**taikwondo** my bad!!!

**tHorny** im sure youll come up with one eventually clovie

**lucky charm** clovie???

**featherhead** great you have a nickname

**featherhead** which means summers officially adopted you

**featherhead** which means im forbidden from kicking you out of this group chat -_-

**lucky charm** _featherhead_ love you <3

**featherhead** i will ruin you

**featherhead** i dont know when

**featherhead** i dont know how

**featherhead** but it will happen

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky charm_ **

**featherhead** PLEASE DONT DO THAT IN THE GROUP CHAT

**lucky charm** sorry! cant help it!

**lucky charm** aw how cute

**lucky charm** you think you can stop me ;)

**quoth the bitch** if you two start ripping each other to shreds tell me and ill be over with a lawn chair and popcorn and my money's on clover for finally killing you

**featherhead** glad to know you believe in my fighting skills

**quoth the bitch** brat

* * *

**lucky charm** GUYS I CANT FIND QROW AND HES NOT ANSWERING HIS PHONE

**lucky charm** I HAVENT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE PATROL EARLIER

**tHorny** clover

**tHorny** calm down

**tHorny** sometimes he goes off on his own to cool down

**tHorny** hes probably just taking a nap

**tHorny** take a deep breath

**lucky charm** okay

**lucky charm** breathing

**tHorny** have you eaten yet?

**lucky charm** going back to my room with food now

**lucky charm** was supposed to hang around the mess with qrow but idk where he is

**tHorny** like i said, hes probably just napping

**tHorny** but make sure he also eats when you find him

**lucky charm** grabbed an extra plate of food for him

**tHorny** hes lucky you have him clover

**tHorny** pun not intended but you know what i mean

**lucky charm** it means a lot to me you think that way

**lucky charm** OKAY I HAVE A NEW PROBLEM

**lucky charm** THERES A BIRD IN MY ROOM

**lucky charm** RIGHT ON MY BED

**lucky charm** [image sent]

**tHorny** well then

**lucky charm** I TRIED TO SHOO IT BUT IT TRIED TO BITE ME

**lucky charm** WHAT DO I DO

**lucky charm** WHAT IF IT POOPS OR LAYS EGGS OR SOMETHING

**quoth the bitch** ....

**quoth the bitch** I'm gonna tell him

**taikwondo** DONT YOU DARE

**tHorny** DONT YOU DARE

**lucky charm** ?????

**tHorny** okay

**tHorny** listen very carefully

**tHorny** i can tell you for sure it will not lay eggs

**tHorny** so what youre gonna do is ignore it

**tHorny** eat your food

**tHorny** and then maybe the bird will realize that this is not his room

**lucky charm** alright?????

**lucky charm** i dont think its going anywhere it made a nest out of my blankets

**tHorny** just leave it

**tHorny** go eat your food and then take a shower or something

**lucky charm** are you sure?

**tHorny** this family is made up of bird experts

**quoth the bitch** HA

**tHorny** just trust me

* * *

**lucky charm** update

**lucky charm** its still there

**lucky charm** what do i do now

**tHorny** go give it scritches

**taikwondo** summer no

**taikwondo** when i said dont tell this was not what i meant

**lucky charm** you want me to give the wild animal scritches???

**tHorny** itll be fine

**quoth the bitch** its domesticated

**lucky charm** how would you know that

**quoth the bitch** summer said i cant say but i know

**lucky charm** okay????

**lucky charm** its kinda cute now that im getting a good look at it

**lucky charm** and it likes the scritches!

**lucky charm** OH FU

**taikwondo** you guys are terrible

**lucky charm** WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK

**featherhead** move me and i will bite

**lucky charm** since you guys are getting such a kick out of bullying me

**lucky charm** i want you to know that i am once again being sat on

**lucky charm** and i have never been more terrified in my life than i was in that ten seconds that i was being pinned down

**lucky charm** i thought i was about to die

**lucky charm** i saw my life flash before my eyes

**lucky charm** and he fell asleep

**lucky charm** im being used as a mattress against my will

**lucky charm** i dont even know if qrow completely processed what just happened

**lucky charm** i didnt even process what just happened

**lucky charm** _tHorny_ now what do i do

**tHorny** ive got nothing

**tHorny** if you do wake him up he will bite

**tHorny** qrows an angry biter

**tHorny** so youre now stuck there

**tHorny** good luck

**lucky charm** i fucking hate you guys

* * *

**lucky charm** hey babe something came up we'll have to reschedule dinner

**lucky charm** wrong chat

**lucky charm** whoops

**_lucky charm_ ** _—— >_ **_featherhead_ **

**lucky charm** IM SO SORRY I MEANT TO SEND THAT PRIVATELY!!!

**taikwondo** YOURE CHEATING ON ME?!?!

**lucky charm** its not like that bae

**lucky charm** still love you

**taikwondo** CHEATER

**lucky charm** <3

**taikwondo** DISHONOUR

**tHorny** take it down a notch tai

**taikwondo** MAN WHORE

**lucky charm** i want you to know that i can hear qrow laughing from down the hall

**taikwondo** okay im done

**taikwondo** BUT NOW I GOTTA KNOW WHO THE BABY IS DATING

**tHorny** (◕‿◕✿)

**_lucky charm_ ** _—— >_ **_featherhead_ **

**lucky charm** i really am sorry about dinner and this mess but im swamped with reports

**lucky charm** wanna fuck with them?

**featherhead** oh you read my mind

**featherhead** definitely :)

**lucky charm** again

**lucky charm** I AM NOT A BABY

**featherhead** debatable

**lucky charm** QROW PLEASE

**featherhead** but i would also like to know details :D

**lucky charm** youre a little shit

**feathered** love you too!

**taikwondo** DETAILS YOU LUCKY BASTARD

**taikwondo** I WANT TO KNOW THE NAME OF THE WOMAN THAT BROKE MY HEART

**featherhead** raven

**taikwondo** not at the moment she is napping with her head in my lap

**taikwondo** she looks so cute

**lucky charm** not saying anything

**taikwondo** COME ON BUDDY

**lucky charm** hmmmm

**lucky charm** no <3

**tHorny** clovie

**tHorny** pwease (ಥ﹏ಥ)

**lucky charm** ....

**lucky charm** fine

**lucky charm** just a little

**tHorny** ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**tHorny** HOWD YOU MEET

**lucky charm** it was a misunderstanding

**lucky charm** but i arrested them

**taikwondo** gotta have that meet cute

**lucky charm** but we surprisingly got along very well afterwards

**lucky charm** and i thought they were cute and i enjoyed spending time with them

**lucky charm** they honestly make my day better and i love it every time i get to see them

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky charm_ **

**featherhead** you sap

**tHorny** so what are they like????

**quoth the bitch** leave the poor man alone

**tHorny** BUT ITS YOUNG LOVE

**quoth the bitch** its really not

**taikwondo** _quoth the bitch_ can you go back to sleep????

**quoth the bitch** why???

**taikwondo** because i like spending time with you and youre going to leave when you get up???

**quoth the bitch** .....

**quoth the bitch** fine

**taikwondo** :D

**tHorny** clovie

**tHorny** continue

**lucky charm** idk theyre very quiet but incredibly sweet

**lucky charm** theyve got a good sense of humour

**lucky charm** i love them a lot

**taikwondo** you need to invite them to this chat so we can meet them!

**featherhead** NO MORE PEOPLE IN THIS CHAT

**lucky charm** nice try tho

* * *

**_tHorny_ ** _—— >_ **_featherhead_ **

**tHorny** qrow ****

**tHorny** please tell me you know something about clover's girlfriend?

**tHorny** plllllleeeeeeaaassseeee

**featherhead** nada

**featherhead** hes really private about his personal life and i know im a spy but hes a good dude and i dont want to look into that

**featherhead** i just know that he sounds really serious about it

**tHorny** dammit

**featherhead** but if im being honest

**featherhead** im kinda interested in this

**featherhead** so if he spills anything, I'll let you know, but I won't go looking into it

**tHorny** REALLY?????

**tHorny** THANK YOU BIRDIE

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky charm_ **

**featherhead** [image sent]

**featherhead** this is almost too easy

**lucky charm** i almost feel sorry

**lucky charm** almost <3

**featherhead** you really are a little shit

**lucky charm** but you love me ｡◕‿◕｡

**featherhead** im never letting you talk to summer again

* * *

**lucky charm** okay so

**featherhead** stop

**lucky charm** hypothetically

**featherhead** STOP

**lucky charm** if I walked into the mess hall at one in the morning and found half the kitchen on fire

**featherhead** Clover

**lucky charm** what is the appropriate response

**featherhead** CLOVER

**lucky charm** because I'm pretty sure "you guys are committing arson without me????" IS NOT IT QROW

**featherhead** IT WAS AN ACCIDENT

**lucky charm** AN ACCIDENT SURE

**lucky charm** LIKE THE TIME YOU PUT SALT IN MY COFFEE

**featherhead** hey hi your local bad luck charm here HOW ABOUT PUT YOUR SALT AND SUGAR IN DIFFERENT COLOURED SHAKERS NOTHING IS LABELLED HOLY SHIT

**featherhead** HOW HARD IS IT TO WRITE "SALT"

**tHorny** i think theres a more important issue here

**tHorny** SUCH AS WHY IS THE KITCHEN ON FIRE ARE YOU ALL OKAY????????

**lucky charm** the kids decided they wanted to cook because ren missed cooking for himself

**lucky charm** and they convinced marrow to give them access to the kitchen

**lucky charm** and proceeded to make a mess of everything and start a fire

**featherhead** *small fire

**quoth the bitch** qrow strikes again

**featherhead** SHUT UP NOT EVERYTHING IS ME I WASNT EVEN THERE

**lucky charm** and yet

**lucky charm** THATS NOT THE RIGHT RESPONSE QROW

**lucky charm** ESPECIALLY WHEN STANDING IN A MILITARY BASE

**lucky charm** IN FRONT OF THE GENERAL

**featherhead** jimmy knows i didnt mean it

**lucky charm** WERE YOU RAISED IN THE WOODS

**featherhead** i mean yeah

**quoth the bitch** can confirm i was also in those woods

**featherhead** idk how you keep forgetting that

**featherhead** and the fact that i am a literal criminal

**lucky charm** wha

**featherhead** we stole an airship to get here cloves for the record tho it was not my idea

**lucky charm** you were pardoned for that

**featherhead** you read my file tho yeah?

**lucky charm** yeah

**featherhead** then it should mention that i have robbed several people

**featherhead** you know

**featherhead** BECAUSE I LIVED IN A BANDIT TRIBE

**lucky charm** ITS NOT LIKE I HAVE IT MEMORIZED QROW

**lucky charm** that would make me a stalker

**featherhead** you say that as if we dont spend basically the entire day with each other with patrol and shit

**tHorny** hes got you there

**taikwondo** also bandit tribe seems like a thing that would stick out

**lucky charm** okay leave me alone

**lucky charm** its still very early and we have to get up in five hours

**lucky charm** so maybe i did retain that information but i forgot about it

**lucky charm** and it does explain how you keep stealing my stuff

**featherhead** no one learns to pick pockets for fun

**quoth the bitch** are we gonna ignore the fact that qrow stole an airship????

**quoth the bitch** not that im surprised but i think theres something that needs to be said about that

**lucky charm** we pardoned that

**featherhead** they pardoned that

* * *

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_tHorny_ **

**featherhead** so i found out a few things

**tHorny** ABOUT CLOVERS GIRLFRIEND?????

**featherhead** yeah

**tHorny** PLEASE DO TELL

**featherhead** so theyre in our line of work

**featherhead** they used to be a teacher but do freelance missions right now

**featherhead** clover spars with them often when no one else is around and apparently they get very embarrassed about it because they get really intense

**tHorny** BUT YOU HAVENT MET THEM?????

**featherhead** no

**tHorny** ANYTHING ELSE?????

**featherhead** apparently theyre one of those touchy types of people, but only with clover and close family

**featherhead** i also know that they love animals, theyre a collector of odd things, and they get really flustered around their bf

**tHorny** QROW THEY SOUND SO CUTE

**tHorny** MAKE SURE THEYRE TREATING CLOVIE RIGHT

**featherhead** i will

**featherhead** and no problem :)

**_featherhead_ ** _—— >_ **_lucky charm_ **

**featherhead** [image sent]

**featherhead** [image sent]

**lucky charm** youre having way too much fun with this

**featherhead** see what happens when you enable me????

* * *

**featherhead** hello parental unit

**featherhead** my scroll is broken so qrow gave me his like a sucker and then fell asleep

**taikwondo** hello eldest daughter

**taikwondo** what goes on in the world of atlas

**featherhead** [image sent]

**tHorny** and the thrilling saga of qrow falling asleep on people continues

**quoth the bitch** i swear to gods he does all this bird shit just to bother me

**quoth the bitch** i dont do anything like that

**taikwondo** you don't fall asleep on someone comfortable?

**tHorny** you guys are thinking of blankets

**tHorny** if you throw a blanket over top of a bird itll go to sleep because it thinks its night

**lucky charm** i think thats specifically parrots

**featherhead** who the hell let clover in here

**taikwondo** clover

**featherhead** that makes sense

**_featherhead_** _changed_ ** _lucky charm_** _'s name to_ ** _qrows favourite_** **_mattress_**

**qrows favourite mattress** im not even mad because its true

**tHorny** dont worry clovie youre a cute mattress

**tHorny** _quoth the bitch_ say something nice

**quoth the bitch** you have eyes

**qrows favourite mattress** thats very kind raven thank you

**qrows favourite mattress** you guys are weird

**taikwondo** and yet you're still in this chat

**qrows favourite mattress** i mean that in the best way possible

**featherhead** ew

**featherhead** bonding

**quoth the bitch** mood

**quoth the bitch** did i do that right?

**featherhead** yea but never do it again

**qrows favourite mattress** owo

**featherhead** omg i didnt think qrow was being serious when he said you were a huge dork

**qrows favourite mattress** well you know what they say

**qrows favourite mattress** birds of a feather flock together

**taikwondo** *high five*

**qrows favourite mattress** *high fives back*

**quoth the bitch** youre not a bird your joke sucks

**qrows favourite mattress** i mean i tried

**featherhead** your jokes need work uncle cloves

**tHorny** UNCLE?????

**featherhead** uh

**_featherhead_ ** _has gone offline_

**tHorny** YANG????

**taikwondo** DAUGHTER COME BACK

**taikwondo** EXPLAIN YOURSELF

**featherhead** _qrows favourite mattress_ I THOUGHT YOU TOLD THEM

**qrows favourite mattress** WE WERE GOING TO

**qrows favourite mattress** eventually....

**featherhead** well

**featherhead** sorry i ruined it

**featherhead** AND WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT RUBYS CALLING ME

**_featherhead_ ** _has gone offline_

**tHorny** _qrows favourite mattress_ YOU

**qrows favourite mattress** ME????

**tHorny** YEAH YOU

**tHorny** THE KIDS CALL YOU UNCLE AND YOU DIDNT SAY ANYTHING??????

**qrows favourite mattress** i can explain

**tHorny** THAT IS THE MOST PRECIOUS THING IVE EVER HEARD AND YOU DECIDED TO KEEP IT FROM ME?????

**qrows favourite mattress** O-O

**tHorny** O-O

**qrows favourite mattress** O-O

**tHorny** O-O

**qrows favourite mattress** O-O

**tHorny** O-O

**qrows favourite mattress** i know you cant actually see me through the screen but I can physically feel you glaring and im scared

**tHorny** YOU SHOULD BE BITCH

**qrows favourite mattress** i feel the need to hide

**qrows favourite mattress** but im still being used as a mattress so i cant move

**quoth the bitch** know that the only thing stopping her from kicking your ass is that im too tired to make a portal

**qrows favourite mattress** raven i owe you one very expensive gift of your choosing

**quoth the bitch** good

**quoth the bitch** but break my brothers heart and I break you in several very important places

**qrows favourite mattress** fair

**tHorny** WAIT WHAT

**tHorny** YOURE DATING QROW?????

**tHorny** SINCE WHEN?????

**taikwondo** hun did you just think yang called him uncle for no reason?????

**taikwondo** ALSO I NOW HAVE BEEF WITH YOU BOY SCOUT

**taikwondo** YOU MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL

**quoth the bitch** you already do that yourself

**taikwondo** DONT MAKE A JOKE OUT OF THAT RAVEN I SEE YOU TYPING

**taikwondo** DAMMIT

**quoth the bitch** too slow

**taikwondo** all this talk about your girlfriend this and your girlfriend that

**taikwondo** when it was qrow

**taikwondo** qrow was girlfriend

**qrows favourite mattress** to be fair

**qrows favourite mattress** i never said girlfriend

**qrows favourite mattress** that was you jumping to conclusions

**taikwondo** youve got me there

**tHorny** wait

**tHorny** YOU ARRESTED QROW?????

**qrows favourite mattress** THEY STOLE AN AIRSHIP

**quoth the bitch** i mean it tracks

**quoth the bitch** only qrow would have someone fall in love with him after he did something illegal

**taikwondo** fair

**tHorny** EVERYONE SHUT UP I NEEDED DETAILS YESTERDAY

**tHorny** OUR BABY BIRD IS IN AN ACTUAL RELATIONSHIP IM GOING TO START CRYING

**qrows favourite mattress** well i mean i pretty much told you everything

**qrows favourite mattress** we were partnered so we spend a lot of time together and it just went from there

**qrows favourite mattress** he was really down on himself and im naturally the kind of person who tries to encourage people

**qrows favourite mattress** and it started with just me trying to get a better working relationship because he told me he hadnt really worked with other huntsmen for a while so i figured he just needed to get used to being around other people again especially being all doom and gloom about his semblance

**qrows favourite mattress** and then somewhere down the line i just started noticing little things about him and then it snowballed from there

**tHorny** MY HEART

**tHorny** THIS DOESNT EXCUSE YOU FROM NOT TELLING US THOUGH

**qrows favourite mattress** we were going to wait until we felt comfortable with it since qrow is new to this kind of thing and i didn't want to push him to do anything he didn’t want to do but i messed up with accidentally messaging the group chat so we ran with it as long as we could

**tHorny** (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)

**thorny** YOU ARE EXCUSED

**tHorny** TAKE GOOD CARE OF MY BOY

**_tHorny_ ** _has gone offline_

**taikwondo** shes crying

**taikwondo** you made her so happy shes crying

**quoth the bitch** ugh

**quoth the bitch** _qrows favourite mattress_ i guess this means i actually have to acknowledge your existence

**quoth the bitch** so try not to be a bastard

**qrows favourite mattress** idk he calls me that a lot when I bother him

**quoth the bitch** you know what I meant

**quoth the bitch** my threat stands and i know how to find you

**qrows favourite mattress** message received loud and clear

**quoth the bitch** sleep with one eye open

**_quoth the bitch_ ** _has gone offline_

**taikwondo** im gonna assume you're done with the emotional stuff for today

**taikwondo** so ill let you and qrow rest

**taikwondo** please be good to him

**qrows favourite mattress** you know i will

**_taikwondo_ ** _has gone offline_

**qrows favourite mattress** probably should fix this before he wakes up

**_qrows favourite mattress_ ** _changed their name to_ **_lucky charm_ **

**_lucky charm_ ** _changed_ **_featherhead_ ** _'s name to_ **_pretty bird_ **

**lucky charm** better

**_lucky charm_ ** _has gone offline_

* * *

**taikwondo** _pretty bird_ FOUR MONTHS!!!!

**pretty bird** ?????

**lucky charm** dont worry about it

**taikwondo** FOUR MONTHS YOU LET ME THINK CLOVER WAS STRAIGHT

**taikwondo** AND THE TWO OF YOU WERE BANGING

**pretty bird** ah

**pretty bird** well

**pretty bird** i think i need to go read yesterday's chat

**lucky charm** youve all bothered the crap out of me for who i was dating

**lucky charm** i now get to be stupidly flirty with my partner in the group chat with absolutely no shame

**lucky charm** I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE

**quoth the bitch** I TOLD YOU

**quoth the bitch** I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE HIM ALONE

**quoth the bitch** BUT NO ONE LISTENS TO ME

**lucky charm** [image sent]

**lucky charm** [image sent]

**lucky charm** [image sent]

**lucky charm** [image sent]

**lucky charm** LOOK AT HIM HES SO CUTE

**tHorny** EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT MY BOY

**pretty bird** im back

**pretty bird** and summer when did you become my hype man???

**tHorny** bold of you to assume I have not always been your hype man

**pretty bird** fair

**tHorny** WAIT

**tHorny** WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT CLOVERS GIRLFRIEND WERE YOU JUST DESCRIBING YOURSELF????

**pretty bird** well

**pretty bird** yeah

**pretty bird** im actually surprised you didn't get it sooner

**tHorny** YOU SON OF A BITCH

**pretty bird** I mean its not exactly secret stuff

**pretty bird** you already knew most of it

**pretty bird** youd have no way of knowing that I get flustered around clover but that's about it

**lucky charm** he does get really blushy

**lucky charm** its really cute and makes me want to kiss him more!

**pretty bird** STOP

**lucky charm** he cant take positive attention

**tHorny** he really cant

**lucky charm** [image sent]

**lucky charm** look at him, all flustered because i called him cute!

**pretty bird** im a grown man im not cute

**lucky charm** you can be both

**lucky charm** take the compliment love

**quoth the bitch** affection

**quoth the bitch** disgusting

**tHorny** i call bullshit

**tHorny** raven is kissing the top of my head right now

**quoth the bitch** you will die in seven days

**taikwondo** look at all of you being cute

**taikwondo** ill just be at work

**taikwondo** alone

**taikwondo** (ಥ﹏ಥ)

**pretty bird** bold of you to assume clover is not goofing off trying to take pictures of me while we're supposed to be working

**lucky charm** can't help myself ;)

**pretty bird** he says, sitting in my lap

**lucky charm** your lap is comfortable

**lucky charm** and yang just told us to stop being gross

**pretty bird** hypocrite -_-

**pretty bird** blake just gave me a "im so sorry for my gf" look

**lucky charm** you and blake get along really well

**pretty bird** we both have to deal with extrovert partners that like to yell

**tHorny** you walked into that one clovie

**lucky charm** yeah but us "loud extroverts" are also shameful gossips

**lucky charm** we spill the tea

**pretty bird** blake and i talk shit about all of you dont even

**pretty bird** also every bisexual has a bisexual friend

**pretty bird** its part of our protocol for at least two bisexuals to be in the same area

**lucky charm** you need to have a stand-bi, if you will

**pretty bird** please excuse me while I slap my boyfriend for that ridiculous pun

**pretty bird** this is blake

**pretty bird** idk what happened but Qrow threw his scroll at me

**pretty bird** so hi

**pretty bird** THIS IS YANG AND THEYRE BEING GROSS AGAIN

**tHorny** please leave your uncle alone

**pretty bird** DONT GET ME WRONG IM HAPPY FOR HIM

**pretty bird** BUT ITS TOO MUCH

**pretty bird** THEYRE MAKING OUT AND ITS MAKING ME WANT TO GAG

**pretty bird** blake again

**tHorny** hi blake! ◕‿‿◕｡)づ

**tHorny** is yang okay?

**pretty bird** i kissed her and now she's short circuiting

**pretty bird** she'll be out for a bit

**taikwondo** that'll do it

**tHorny** what about the lovebirds?

**pretty bird** still sitting on top of each other in the back of the transport

**pretty bird** qrows asking for his scroll back so bye

**tHorny** bye blake! ◕‿‿◕｡)づ

**lucky charm** i totally won that fight

**quoth the bitch** what fight?

**quoth the bitch** tongue wrestling?

**taikwondo** she went for the throat

**tHorny** so did clover

**taikwondo** *high five*

**tHorny** *high fives back*

**pretty bird** i hate all of you

**lucky charm** no you dont

**pretty bird** debatable


End file.
